For many retirees, finding a new purpose in life after retirement is a challenge. This is particularly true for people whose identity is very tied to the job they do. For example, if you are a well-known brain surgeon, what and who are you when you retire? People who have high profile positions are most at risk from this challenge, but anybody who is very passionate about and engaged in the work they do can suffer from a loss of identity at retirement.
It’s very important to redefine what your life purpose is. “Purpose is critical to your health, healing, happiness and longevity” says Richard Leider, co-author of Who Do You Want to Be When You Grow Old? The Path of Purposeful Aging (Richard J.Leider and David A. Shapiro, Berrett-Koehler, 2021)
“Admitting ‘I am old’ does not mean that we accept decline; rather it means that we have recognise that we’ve moved into the half of life that’s beyond external achievement” he says. The point is, that in the second half of life, being outwardly successful or physically appealing is not what provides fulfilment.
In his book, Leider offers some tools to help you work out your life purpose. Here’s a few questions to start with:
- Describe the finest chapter in your life thus far. What made it the finest? How can you manifest those qualities in your next chapter?
- Ask yourself “How can I grow and give?” Review your calendar. Make regular appointments with yourself to grow and give.
- Who is your aging exemplar and why do you admire this person? What qualities of growing old does he or she embody?
Leider says that your purpose may be linked to something you love to do – writing, solving technical problems, or cooking for example. If you have a gift in a particular area and combine that with your passions and values, that can lead you to your purpose.
The interesting thing about purpose, however, is not whether you have one or not – as we all do. It’s whether you have discovered what your purpose is or whether it is still buried within you. So it’s not a matter of creating a purpose, it is a matter of revealing what it is.
Having a purpose doesn’t mean you have to achieve something monumental or life-changing. The key to having a purposeful life is to make every moment meaningful. Every minute of every day (and there are 1440 minutes in a day) is an opportunity do something that has meaning and purpose, even if it is as simple as giving someone a hug or calling someone to say hello.
Leider has a three step process for unlocking your purpose:
- Find out how you want to help
- Find out who you want to help
- Find out what energises you (and what drains you).
A daily motto should be “How can I grow and give?” – that is, how can I make a difference in my life and in someone else’s life?
It helps if you have a group of friends with whom to have meaningful conversations about your life purpose to gain further clarity and motivation. You will no doubt find that others are similarly looking for guidance.
